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"Probably clickbait."
"What a bunch of sap."
"I highly doubt it."
If you had any such thoughts but are still here reading this...
Your skepticism is something I am all too familiar with -- for I too, once stood in your shoes. That being said, I most certainly salute your open mind and your willingness to let me prove you wrong.
Editor's note: Forgive me if throughout this blog post I sound like a time traveler from the 19th century; I've just finished watching Bridgerton's Season 2 and find myself a tad inspired by Lady Whistledown's writing style.
Now, before we continue, I do need to manage your expectations.
Because if you are expecting an Ultimate Guide neatly presented to you in the form of a To-Do list or ready-to-consume content, you will be sorely disappointed.
But fret not, I do intend to give you a "manual" of sorts to create your own, unique, Ultimate Guide To Fulfillment. After all, self-development has always been and always will be... a DIY project.
What Is Fulfillment, Really?
If you Google the meaning of "fulfillment" you'll be given a plethora of descriptions. I'd like to highlight two of them:
satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one's potential.
the meeting of a requirement, condition, or need.
These two come closest to describing what I believe is at the core of personal fulfillment.
Let's dig a little deeper.
Fully Developing Your Potential
Each and every one of us has incredibly valuable, personal-to-us, world-changing potential.
Yes, that means you, too.
Yes, you.
Sadly, for many of us that potential is covered by a heavy blanket of fear, insecurities and self-deprecating beliefs.
Often times we have an inkling of what we are capable of... What would make us happy beyond reason; what would give our life meaning; and what would make a lasting impact, not just on us, but on those around us.
It's what you feel deep down could be your life's purpose -- what you were set on this earth to do.
So what we want to do is free ourselves from that weighted blanket, envision our most fulfilling future, and start moving towards it with intention and purpose.
Over the years that I have worked as a coach, I have put together quite an expansive toolbox to help guide clients towards fulfillment. However, since we're working on a DIY project here, I want to share two simple exercises that you can do by yourself, to get you on the right track.
I like to call this exercise "Once Upon A Future".
Grab a pen and a piece of paper; or a blank Pages, Word or Notes document on your laptop, if you are so inclined.
Write down an inspiring title, something like... - "It's A Wonderful Life" - "My Kickass Future" - "Coming Soon in the Amazing Life of *your name here*"
Now, imagine a world -- 5 years from now -- where everything is possible. There is nothing holding you back; thoughts like "Yes, but..." and "I can't" do not exist. You've completely let go of your limiting beliefs, you are not playing small out of fear anymore, and you are making sh*t happen. You've embraced your passions, your talents and your purpose, and you are killing it. While you are here, really submerge yourself in this reality. Imagine the weather; where you are living; how your body feels in this space; what a "day in the life of YOU" looks like. Close your eyes and really feel into this version of yourself, this life -- what is possible here, who you are, and the impact you are having. Take as much time as you need for this step. Some of you may need longer than others to really submerge themselves in this visualization, depending on how many times you have to surpass your inner critic and overcome insecurity roadblocks.
Once you're really submerged in the resonant energy of your full potential and limitless best life, start writing down your story beginning with "Today, I am..." Start writing from a first person perspective, and note down as many details as you can about your life, as you would in a very personal diary. There are no limits here. Write down what you are doing, as well as the emotions, thoughts and impacts you are having. And don't edit your story while you are writing it. Just let it flow and put it all down in its original, glorious, imperfect shape. Struggling with writer's block? Go back to the previous step. Or take a break, go for a walk, leave it for another day. You can do this exercise over a span of several days or weeks, as long as you truly give it your all while you're on it.
Once you feel your story is "complete" -- re-read it. Just read it... and let it transport you to this magnificent reality, Once Upon A Future. If you were able to outmaneuver your inner critic and let go of your limiting beliefs for this exercise, the result of re-reading your story will be an overwhelming feeling of resonance and purpose. You may feel emotional, a pull at your heart, butterflies in your stomach, or like someone lit a fire under your butt and you want to take action, NOW.
From this place of resonant energy, ask yourself: "What is one action I can take this week that will move me closer to this reality?" And then go do that. Channel that fire within you to keep moving forward with purpose and intention, and make your very own Once Upon A Future a reality, one action at a time. You can come back and repeat this exercise whenever you feel you need to realign. And make sure to check out my blog post on effective goal-setting to really set yourself up for success. If you struggled with this exercise, perhaps because your inner critic was too loud or there were too many roadblocks holding you back throughout the visualization -- that's totally okay! You can always try again at a later stage, or perhaps a different exercise would work better for you. If you are interested in exploring your purpose or your roadblocks further, feel free to reach out to me -- I offer a free sample session to those who are really ready to take action.
Meeting Your Requirements, Conditions & Needs
Now, let's have a better look at Google's second description of fulfillment: "The meeting of a requirement, condition, or need" --- a.k.a. "RCN" for short, going forward.
Some of you may think of external RCN that must be met. But alas! It is not so. At least not in the realms of personal fulfillment.
You see, as a human being you have internal RCN that must be met.
Your basic ones are nice, clean air for breathing; healthy, nutritious food for eating; and liquids in the shape of water, tea, coffee, wine, etc. Oh and sleep -- we mustn't forget sleep.
Of course, your internal RCN don't stop at just your body.
Psychologically, you also need to feel safe, loved, and accomplished.
But that's not all...
What can I say -- us humans are pretty needy creatures. Kinda makes you respect your parents for keeping you alive and (as) healthy (as possible) all those years, huh?
Anyhoo, the RCN that must be met a majority of the time for you to feel personally fulfilled are also known as... your values.
Your values are your core beliefs about what is important in life, in others, and within yourself. And the beauty of it is.. your values are as unique to you as your fingerprint.
Which leads us to our second exercise of your Ultimate Guide to Fulfillment.
I like to call this one The Fingerprint Of Values.
Read the expansive list of values below.
Write down at least 20 values that resonate strongly with you, and feel free to add your own if they're not on the list.
Put your Top 10 in order of importance, with #1 being the value that's most important to you.
Once you've done that, ask yourself these 3 final questions:
Which of these values are you currently NOT honoring (enough) in your life?
How does that make you feel?
What steps can you take to honor these values more?
Your answers to these question will clarify current pain points in your life, as well as the next steps you need to take on the road to more fulfillment.
I do want to state once again, that your aim should be to honor your values a majority of the time. It's nearly impossible to honor all of your values 100% of the time. We stumble upon complicated and challenging situations in life that at times require compromises, or honoring one value over another.
Sometimes honoring a value may be very difficult and painful, but will still feel as "the right thing to do."
Also, our values may change over time, which is natural as we grow and develop. Just make sure to keep checking in with yourself whether you are honoring your most important, core values.
Because therein fulfillment lies...
I truly hope these exercises helped you gain more self-awareness and pave a clearer road towards personal fulfillment in your life. If nothing else, I hope you had fun doing them!
Of course, I'd love to hear what worked for you (and what didn't) in the comment section.
At this moment, I still have space for 5 more clients, and offer one free sample session to those of you who are interested in personal co-active coaching. If you'd like to dig a little deeper, get to know yourself better, and really invest in your growth and self-development this year -- book your free session below.
I'd be delighted to connect and have a chat with you.
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